"Black Sheep"

I really want to keep at this summary writing. The problem is that after the first few films, I've been having a hard time finding "horror" films that are as badly written/acted/filmed/etc as I'd like. I'm looking for something thats not only poorly done but also humorous (intentionally humorous honestly works better for my purposes) Something that hopefully includes lots of poorly executed jokes, ladies with their tops off, and maybe even a musical number or two. Since my first two summaries (Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter and Thankskilling) I've had a hard time finding films that are up to par, although this next film may put me back on track. Most recently I wrote about Poultrygeist. It honestly met most of my criteria but it was waaaay too gross to write about without offending people, and had waaaaay too much going on throughout the course of the film to summarize without sounding scattered and rushed. So- to those of you familiar with Troma films- they're out. I understand and even enjoy the humor- but I can't stomach the level of gross that they aspire to.
If anyone can recommend a film I haven't already written about and that isn't from the Troma lineup please please please let me know...
Having said all that I think I'm back on the right path- today I'll be summarizing a little film called Black Sheep. I hope you enjoy my summary of it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
The film opens on a picturesque landscape and a bunch of cute little sheep grazing on the rolling hills of New Zealand. Cut to a family of sheep farmers- a father working in the fields- and two sons. One of these sons immediately establishes himself as a sick and twisted little bugger- who murders his little brother's pet sheep in cold blood, skins him and hangs his bloody carcass from the rafters in the barn, and wears his still bloody skin- all in the hopes of scaring his sweet little bother shitless. The younger brother walks in and is successfully terrified, when their housekeeper walks in to tell the boys that there has been an accident with their father...
Fast forward 15 years. Some dirty hippie vegan animal rights activists sporting a Meat is Murder bumper sticker are meddling on the fields of the sheep farm. You can just smell something bad coming from their shenanigans. Nothing good ever comes from vegan hippies in a horror movie... The younger of the two brothers, Henry, is returning to the farm in a cab, where he finds his older brother, Angus, preparing a speech he's going to give on the wonders of genetic engineering in modern agriculture. Angus makes fun of the sheepish (hehehe) Henry, who is apparently now terrified of sheep. Meanwhile the trouble making tree huggers stumble upon a laboratory where they find a cooler marked "for disposal". One of the peaceniks steals a jar from the cooler and the two run into the woods, but the first one trips on a root and smashes the glass jar, releasing a live, yet horribly mutated, sheep fetus. The fetus crawls on the hippies back and bites him on his ear, which is apparently made of rubber. Terrified, he bashes the sheep against a tree to get it to release its grasp. The fetus crawls away to the fields to infect the healthy flock, leaving the vegan moron cowering and crying in fetal position. Back at the farm, Henry's cousin Tucker offers to take him up to the fields to help him get over his fears. Along the way they bump into the other hippie, named Experience, who's looking for her partner in crime. While looking for him they stumble upon a farm house billowing with smoke. Once inside they find a kitchen spattered with blood, and Experience notices that the room, gasp!, has terrible feng shui!!!
Meanwhile, in the woods, the bitten hippie, Grant, is sitting up and trying to pull himself together when he spots a cute lil' bunny wabbit. Being a vegan tree hugger, he picks the little cutie pie up and starts petting it and assuring it (and himself) that everything is going to be okay. Suddenly his eyes glow red and he snaps and bites the fuzzy lil' bunny, eating him raw. Hillshire Farms- GO MEAT!!!
Back at the smokey farmhouse Henry, Tucker, and Experience find, and are chased by, a vicious blood thirsty sheep with huge bloody teeth. They lock themselves in a bedroom but the sheep busts his horrible little head through the door and they have to shoot it in the head a few times before it finally dies. They flee the house and hop in their truck, Experience and Henry in the back, Tucker in the front. Before they can get away another evil sheep gets into the cab of the truck and begins to attack poor Tucker. Tucker punches the sheep in the nose (but not before he's bitten on the foot), stunning the lil' guy, and buying him enough time to crawl out of the cab through the back window onto the truck bed. The evil sheep takes the wheel and starts driving the truck like a lunatic. In the back the bumbling trio notice that the sheep is driving them right towards a cliff and jump off the truck just in time to save themselves. The sheep in the cab isn't so lucky and with a wide eyed look of "Oh Shit!" goes plummeting off the cliff. The trio decide they have no choice but to make their way back to their farm even though there are evil sheep all along the way. They stumble upon the lab on their way and run inside to escape from a stampeding flock of evil barnyard animals.
At the same time Angus is on his way to the lab but bumps into the no longer vegan Grant, who has begun to turn into what can only be described as... DUN DUN DUN!!! A big scary Were-sheep!!!! Yes folks, that's right, a were-sheep... Grant bites Angus on the hand and scurries off into the fields, leaving Angus to drive to the lab and find the protagonist trio. Once there Angus escorts his brother and Experience outside and the mad scientist woman responsible for the sheep fetus injects Tucker with some sleepy time medicine. Outside the evil flock of sheep charge at Henry and Experience, and they fall into a disgusting pit of rotting gross that the scientists have been dumping their failed experiments in. Experience lights a geranium aroma therapy candle to calm her nerves. Through the entire film she has been exasperatingly unimpressed by the danger at hand, but rather has kept on point with her inane environmentalist ramblings- modern agriculture rapes mother earth, methane from sheep farts cause rises in levels of green house gases, etc. Once down in the pit I'm hoping a genetically mutated sheep fetus will jump out and kill the bitch, but no such luck. Henry finds a tunnel/cave and they head off to find a way out.
Back in the lab the scientist sees the bite mark through Tucker's boot and removes it to reveal that his foot has turned into a hairy cloven hoof. Instead of a reaction of horror, she is delighted and thinks this may be her great break through with her research. Henry and Experience are crawling on their stomachs to get out of the cave when they are suddenly attacked from behind by one of the evil sheep. They hurry and scurry and find an opening, narrowly escaping through the hole which the sheep can't fit through- so -they toss the aroma therapy candle at the struggling sheep, which bursts into flames as though soaked in gasoline. Now- I don't really believe sheep to be so highly flammable, but what do I know? Once out of the cave they find that Grant has turned into a full fledged giant sheep person. He charges at them and tries to attack when Experience notices blood on Grants snout, and starts asking him if he's been eating meat, and if the meat was even organic. Grant pauses, perplexed, just long enough for Henry and Experience to escape.
Back at the lab, Tucker has almost completed the transition himself and the mad scientist lady is delighted. She gives him an injection which turns him back into a human, and cackles with glee as she proclaims that she'll be able to further her research with this serum. She gives him another dose of sleepy sauce and leaves to join Angus at the speech he was preparing for when he met Henry so many scenes ago. Unfortunately she is attacked by killer sheep and never quite makes it.
Back near the farm house, dozens of local farmers and industry experts have gathered out doors to hear Angus' speech about the wonders of genetic engineering. Henry and Experience arrive at a clearing just in time to witness a giant flock of evil sheep barreling right for the gathering. From afar they witness the entire group get devoured in a wonderfully violent blood bath with more than a hint of humor.
The housekeeper pulls up in her car just in time to save Henry and Experience. They head back to the house and lock themselves in to find that Grant has beat them there. Experience successfully paralyzes him using a match stick as an acupuncture needle, but not before he is able to bite Henry. Then they find that Angus is there too, and has also begun to turn. He confesses that in the lab they had combined human DNA, Angus' DNA in fact, with sheep DNA to create this new breed of sheep they'd been working on. He insists he needs to save his research and since he hasn't become violent yet he leaves them in the house as he runs out to try to reach the barn and fly to safety in his Cessna airplane
Outside, the house is surrounded by killer sheep, and many of the people attacked at the speech have turned into were-sheep as well. Experience and the housekeeper escape out the back and reach her car. With the housekeeper driving and Experience brandishing a shot gun and standing through the sunroof, they drive down the road shooting as many of the evil sheep and were-sheep people as possible. Henry is able to move safely through the herd, as he's been bitten. He is following Angus and trying to beat him to the barn before he is able to fly off. Angus reaches the barn first and starts the plane, but before he's able to climb in he turns into a full were-sheep. Henry reaches the barn and he and Angus begin to fight each other. They leave the barn and take their fight into the field, the unmanned airplane begins to meander through the field as well and Henry is able to back Angus up into the planes propellors. Tucker, now awake and no longer a were-sheep, thanks to the mad scientist's serum, arrives on a four wheeler just in time to inject Angus before he is able to retaliate. Human once again, Angus falls to the ground and bleeds to death in the field. Tucker gives Henry the shot too, and they regroup with Experience and the housekeeper. Using a sheep dog they round all the evil sheep together. Apparently the sheep are strong enough to kill and devour human beings but are still afraid of a sheep dog. The group is trying to figure out what to do with the evil sheep, as there isn't enough serum to cure them all, when they notice the sheep are all farting (probably because their stomach's aren't used to so much raw meat???). Experience reminds the group about how methane from animal farming adds to green house gasses, and they decide to use the methane to their advantage. They toss a lighter toward the flatulent flock, and Kablooey!!!, the whole bunch of them explode in a fire ball!
Next we see the survivors on a beautiful sunny day injecting the remaining were-sheep with the rest of the serum and turning them human again. Henry, Tucker and Experience decide they're going to keep the farm, but run it organically from now on. The house keeper arrives with a delicious batch of mountain oysters she just whipped up for the gang to enjoy, but Experience is the only one to indulge, admitting she does eat a bit of sea food every once in a while. Henry leans in and whispers that mountain oysters aren't seafood at all, but fried sheep testicles. Experience spits out her mouthful of balls and they all have a good laugh.
The end.