Okie Doke. Time for another terrible horror movie summary and let me tell you- this one's a doozie. Hold on to your butts, we're in for a bumpy ride. Filled with original songs, fake blood, doodie, vomit, sex, and gore, and a plethora of titties, boobies, tatas, and melons; this movie was one of the most ridiculous and disgusting things I've ever seen. I feel it necessary to mention that Poultrygeist is a Troma film. For those of you who are familiar with Troma, you understand the genre. Most of you probably do not know Troma films very well so suffice it to say that these movies incorporate very juvenile potty humor with the most disgusting over the top gore and yuck you've ever seen. Every film is nastier than the last. Even this summary is not for the faint of heart so read at your own risk.
Okay so we open on two horny teens, Arby and Wendy (The movie's about a fast food chain so... witty huh?) dry humping in an ancient indian burial ground. Wendy's about to go off to college and leave poor Arby to take care of his retarded family, but Wendy promises that she wont change while away at school. Things start to get hot and heavy and Arby and Wendy begin to have the copulation time. Of course, they're in an indian burial ground, so, some dead people's arms pop out of the ground and start feeling up all over them. They're so into each other that they don't even seem to notice. Then a man holding an axe pops out from behind one of the gravestones and scares the two kids half to death. He is masturbating so they decide to leave, but they forget to retrieve their underwear. The creepy guy picks up the forgotten garments and starts smelling them and masturbating. Suddenly- an arm shoots out of the ground and into the mans... ummm... booty. The arm rips through his whole body, comes out his mouth, grabs the underpants, and then goes back into the ground, leaving the creepy guy to die.
One year passes and a fast food chicken chain has been built on the grounds of the graveyard. Arby stumbles upon the chain by accident to find a group of protesters upset about the desecration of the sacred site. He discovers Wendy in the crowd making out with a woman. Even though she promised not to change while away at college, Wendy has turned dyke. Arby is understandably upset and sings a beautiful song about how Wendy now eats snatch and he is going to get revenge by getting a job at the fast food chain, called American Chicken Bunker. He asks the manager for a job and meets the kitchen crew. The eggs in the restaurant have been possessed and turn green and pulsating and veiny- but they use them anyway- no big deal. When they open the doors for business, Ron Jeremy runs in, yes that's right, Ron Jeremy, and he warns them all that since the restaurant was built on an indian burial ground that it's cursed and they should all get out and save themselves before it's too late. Of course they don't heed his warning. The kitchen crew accidentally mixes one of the green veiny eggs into a man's order and even though it is clearly foul (hehe) the man eats it anyway. He instantly runs to the bathroom screaming and has a ridiculously repulsive attack of explosive diarrhea. After having a fantasy about boffing Wendy and her lesbian lover in front of the counter at the restaurant, Arby discovers the bathroom covered in blood and feces. While cleaning the mess he sings a heart felt song about how much he misses Wendy and her love. The CEO of American Chicken Bunker arrives in a stretch Hummer Limo and has a song and dance off against the protesters in the parking lot. The protesters get served. Inside, one of the mexican laborers, Paco Bell, starts masturbating into the meat grinder in a show of political rebellion. An evil chicken, which hatched from one of the evil eggs, runs up, flips the switch, and pushes Paco into the spinning blades of the grinder. Poor Paco dies a horrible bloody splattery messy disgusting death. While fixing a sloppy Jose sandwich, Arby discovers that not only has Paco been reincarnated in the form of a talking sandwich, he has also come out of the closet. Paco warns Arby that by building the chicken chain on the indian burial ground, the chain has combined the horrible anguish felt both by native americans as well as factory raised poultry. Paco goes on to explain that this combination has unleashed a great evil on the land and if Arby doesn't act soon and save the day all hope will be lost. Just as the talking sandwich version of Paco is about to tell Arbie how to stop the evil, the CEO of the chicken chain eats poor Paco.
Meanwhile, in the basement, another employee- Carl Jr.- is intercoursing with a raw chicken. Just as Carl Jr. is about to climax, the chicken comes to life and tries to eat his quivering member. Poor Carl Jr. runs up to the kitchen screaming and spouting blood and evil green mucus all over the buckets of prepared fried chicken. Coming to his rescue, the kitchen's token muslim woman, Hummus, rams a broom handle up Carl Jr.'s ass to get the chicken to release. Unfortunately she gets carried away in the moment and rams too hard, bursting straight through his body, ejecting not only the chicken but Carl's wee wee and insides as well... The CEO decides that bringing Carl Jr. to the hospital would only give the angry protesters outside more to get upset about, so instead he decides to save the reputation of his chain by offering the hungry protesters free fried chicken. (which he doesn't realize has just been sprayed with evil chicken gore and Carl Jr.'s blood) When the restaurant staff takes the fried chicken out to the protesters they refuse to eat at first, but when Wendy's new lesbian lover (who is the unofficial leader of the protest) takes a bite the rest follow suit.
We next discover that poor Wendy has been duped, her lover is actually a corporate plant for American Chicken Bunker, placed in the crowd to get them to eat the chicken. Wendy catches her having kinky baby sexy time with the chain's CEO and starts to regret what she'd done to poor Arby. They are interrupted by the manager of the restaurant who bursts in saying something terrible is happening in the dining room. The crowd is all violently vomiting all over the place and Wendy accuses the chain of serving tainted food products. She challenges the CEO to eat some of the chicken himself, and reluctantly he agrees. He appears to be unharmed for a moment, but suddenly has to run to the bathroom where he shits out an evil egg into the toilet. The egg hatches into an evil green chicken monster and the CEO is forced to bite the chicken's head off to save himself, spraying evil green chicken blood all over. In the kitchen, Carl Jr. comes back from the dead and turns into a giant evil zombie chicken monster, but the broom handle, which is still lodged in his groin, gets stuck in a hole in the wall and he can't move. Hummus, Arby, Wendy, and the fake lesbian try to run away but once in the dining room they discover that everyone who ate the fried chicken has turned into a chicken zombie and is killing and eating the rest of the restaurants patrons in the most violent gory disgusting scene yet. So gross. Really really awful.
Another employee joins them and reveals a gun cache he's been hiding in the children's toys for happy meals in case he wanted to go on a disgruntled rampage. They kill all the demon chickens in the dining room but when they go to leave they find that even more demon chickens are waiting outside. They find that the Carl Jr. demon zombie chicken monster is still alive and plead with him to tell them the secret of how to stop the evil. Carl Jr.'s soul comes through and tells them, "Alcohol". Arby, who is incredibly dense, thinks that Carl Jr. is asking for booze, not telling him the secret weakness of the native american evil. Eventually they figure it out though, and Wendy sprays the most of the evil monsters with beer while Arby shouts beer slogans. Because the chickens combined evil forces with the native americans, their only weakness is alcohol. Clever huh? Eventually the beer runs out and they get overrun by the chicken dead and have to retreat to the basement where they are followed by one of the biggest chicken monsters, who happens to be the zombie of the restaurant's CEO. Before eating Wendy, Hummus, and Arby, the CEO chicken sings a song about how the white man ruined the lives and culture of the native americans. When the song is over and he is about to eat the trio, he gets a case of indigestion and shits himself to death. From the shit returns the talking sandwich embodiment of Paco Bell. Since he was eaten by the CEO earlier he was able to fight him from the inside out, and he makes a hilarious joke about the chicken's stomach not being about to handle mexican.
Hummus decides to sacrifice herself for the good of America by suicide bombing the restaurant and killing the remaining chicken dead. Wendy and Arby escape just in time to watch the restaurant explode. They hop in a car and drive off unharmed but they get into a sudden car accident and die anyway.
The End.
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