"The Car"

It's been a few weeks and I figured it was high time for another spoiler alert. This week I'll be summarizing 1977's The Car.
The film opens with two young people with their lives ahead of them riding their bikes down a winding mountain road. They're having the time of their lives, which turns out to be their last, when a mysterious black luxury car appears to terrorize them and eventually run them off the road and over the edge of a cliff. When the car starts knocking off a cast of bit characters, including an annoying hitchhiking horn playing hippie and an elderly policeman, the law gets involved. After interviewing a wise old indian woman the town sheriff, Wade, learns that the killer sedan appears to have no driver. Wade, who's canoodling the town music teacher, gets worried and tells another officer to cancel the marching band practice. In a state of shock the officer forgets to pass the order on to the music teacher and the practice goes on as scheduled. When the evil black car arrives on the scene of the practice chaos ensues and the teachers usher all of the children into an old cemetery (for some strange reason) This is when we find out Wade's lady friend, Lauren the music teacher, has balls of steel. When the car doesn't enter the graveyard she begins to taunt and tease the car, challenging the driver to get out and show their face. The car is visibly aggravated but never enters the cemetery. The law arrives at the parade grounds and the car flees the scene and the police pursue. One officer is tricked into following the car up a winding road and turns a corner to find the car facing him. The car moves forward and nudges the police car off the edge of the cliff. Somehow, perhaps in anticipation of the impact, the police car bursts into flames the moment it goes over the edge. Back at the base of the cliff the car meets more police and flips itself over, rolling over the police vehicles causing them to burst into fire. The car lands on its four wheels and drives off unharmed. The car next meets Wade, who's waiting beside his motorcycle with his gun drawn. He aims and fires at the demon vehicle but is unable to make a dent no matter where he fires. The car pops it's drivers side door open and coaxes Wade to come peak inside but when he reaches the car the door swings open knocking Wade unconscious on the side of the road. With Wade in the hospital and the rest of the force trying to find a way to stop the evil car Lauren goes home to rest. While on the phone with Wade in the hospital the evil car gets his revenge for Lauren's taunts by crashing through her living room window and killing her. Wade and the other officers decide that since the car wasn't able to enter the cemetery, hallowed ground and all, that it must be pure evil and it must be stopped. They round up all the plastic explosives they can and begin to run around town gathering all the tools and supplies they'll need to, well, Get 'R' Dun. While rummaging around in his barn, Wade finds that he isn't alone, that somehow the car has gotten in their with him. He jumps over the car and onto his trusty hog, narrowly escaping with his life. A chase ensues but the other officers have already started driving out to ready the explosives. Wade and another officer use themselves as bait and trick the car into driving off the edge of a cliff, at the bottom of which are a huge quantity of explosives. When the car hits the bottom and the bombs explode the face of pure Evil with a capital E is visible in the flames.
The end.

"Black Roses"

Okay. Here we go- Another stupid day, another stupid movie.
Today I'll be summarizing a wonderful little film called Black Roses. That's two movies in two days folks- now thats devotion- I hope you enjoy yourselves.
Black Roses takes place in a quiet midwestern town called Mill Basin. All the teenagers in the town really love this totally tubular rock band called Black Roses, but all the square old people and town leaders think that the band is EVIL!!! Black Roses decides to play four consecutive nights in Mill Basin to launch their very first tour and all HELL breaks loose! The parents and church groups and civic leaders in the town try to protest, insisting they are tools of satan and conduits of evil, but all the kids insist that the band is like so totally righteous and radical to the max. The mayor steps in and says that the concerts will go on as scheduled, but with the concert dates getting nearer and nearer, strange things start happening in Mill Basin- you know- when one of the rowdy teens decides to paint the town red, the can of red paint he is going to use mysteriously bursts into flames when he opens it- that kind of thing.
The night of the first concert the mayor and many of the parents and teachers decide to check out the band to see just how demonic their performance will be. The band comes on, plays some pretty tame generic cock rock, and satisfied that the band isn't as menacing as they expected, the parents leave. They next day the usually peaceful town continues to see strange occurrences and behavior. The students seem lackluster and even sometimes violent, record players start turning themselves on and off at whim, rubber monsters start popping out of stereo speakers and eating parents, stuff like that. The night of the second concert the band holds a satanic ceremony in their dressing room before the show and afterwards the kids are totally out of control. They start running around smashing windows, getting into fights, even kissing one another and using foul language. A few of the youngsters even start going around seducing their elders and murdering their parents.
The town's English teacher begins to suspect that Black Roses' music must be behind the suspicious behavior, and decides to go to their third concert and see what's really going on. Unfortunately he goes to the library first to do some research on devil worship and falls asleep. The mayhem continues. The town's young girls keep dressing like common tramps and trollops, and all the kids keep going around killing people. When the teacher wakes up the next day he realizes that one of the students in particular has been committing some really heinous acts. Julie used to be his prize student, but now she's gone and killed her stepfather and the teacher's ex-girlfriend. When Julie shows up at the teacher's door, he invites her in and starts to ask her what's wrong with her- but she has other ideas. She decides to try to seduce him and when he refuses she turns into a really ugly plastic demon. He beats her head with a tennis racket and then stabs her in the chest with a table leg. Now he knows somethings up!
The teacher goes to the gas station, fills up a portable gas can, and takes it with him to the fourth concert. He succeeds in sneaking the into the concert- but somehow gets caught when, in clear view of the entire audience, he starts dumping the gasoline on the stage. The band members grab the teacher and hold him back as the leader singer, Damien, reaches back and pulls off his mullet wig to reveal that... he's BALD!!! Then Damien turns into a demon, along with the rest of the band. For some reason making the transformation to a plastic demon takes a quite a while, leaving the teacher ample time to set the spilled gasoline ablaze. Damien and the rest of the band catch on fire so- they pick up their instruments and start playing instead of trying to escape. As the band goes up in smoke, the town's youngsters snap back to their senses and run out of the theater, not remembering any of the evil deeds they've committed over the past few days.
All seems right with the world and we thank our lucky stars that the teacher was able to burn the evil band alive, but then the film fast forwards six months. Some of the survivors in Mill Basin are watching the news and an entertainment report comes on announcing that after a six month hiatus the band Black Roses will be playing Madison Square Garden in New York City before continuing their tour in Europe. Heaven help us!
The End.