Today I'll be retelling the tale of 2007's indie delight, Murder Party. I have to say that I actually really enjoyed this movie.
We open on the streets of Brooklyn as the sun sets on Halloween. An unassuming down on his luck dorky guy named Christopher is walking home from the video store when he finds an invitation to a "murder party" blowing down the street. He picks it up and carries it home but gets ready to stay in for the night with a stack of scary movies and a bowl of candy corn for trick or treaters. When his fat ugly ass cat wont get out of his chair so he can watch the movies he decides to google map the address of the party. He picks up his jack'o'lantern that some hoodlums have smashed on his front step and whips it up into a fresh raisin studded loaf of pumpkin bread, not wanting to crash without a bringing a gift. What a nice guy! Then he turns a cardboard box and some duct tape into a knight costume, drops the candy corn on the front step, and heads to the subway. He gets off at the Bedford L train stop in ever trendy Williamsburg and starts walking. At first his trip down Bedford is filled with slutty girls and crazy costumes but his directions lead him off into the industrial warehouse district up on the Williamsburg/Greenpoint border.
He arrives at a secluded industrial artist loft to find a small gathering of bored Williamsburg hipsters lazily sitting around in costumes. When they finally notice him they all jump to their feet and approach. They welcome him to the party and say he's just a little early. He notices that chainsaws, axes and rope are laid out neatly on plastic sheeting that covers the floor. A hipster named Paul snags his invitation and burns it in front of him while Macon, dressed as a warewolf, picks up an axe and sneaks up behind him. Just as he's about to bring the axe down on Christopher's head, the axe gets caught on a dangling light switch string. The light comes on and everyone sees the shadow of the axe behind his head and they jump him, wrestle him to the ground, and tie him to a chair.
Then this blundering bunch begins to bicker about what to do next. Sky, dressed as a zombie cheerleader, insists that they shouldn't kill him after all but should instead go to Cicero's party, which is only, like, 3 blocks away. While trying to convince the others she munches on some pumpkin bread. Lexi gets a call on her cell phone and announces that someone named Alexander is on his way over. Lexi insists that they should murder him according to the original plan, especially since he's a white male. She say's he's probably even a republican. Paul answers back that his murder isn't about politics, it's about art.
Sky says she has a plan that might be arty enough without having to murder the guy but before she reveals it she notices the raisins in the pumpkin bread. She asks, "Are these raisins?" Our hero shakes his head yes. "Are they organic?" He shakes his head no. She says, "I'll be fine I just get really dizzy. I just need to sit down I just get really dizzy. It's preservatives. I'm allergic to them." As she goes to sit down she falls over and bashes her head on the sharp end of a pick axe. She stands back up and says, "Oops hehe." As blood starts to pour from the side of her head she say, "Smells like cut grass. What?" and she falls over dead. The rest of the group disinterestedly look over at her and Lexi says,"Sky just died."
The others all blame Sky's demise on Christopher and decide to kill him then and there. Macon picks up a giant jug of acid that someone brought along, and screams, "This is happening! What What What Motherfucker What? I want to hear the screaming!" and pours the entire bottle all over Christopher, but then starts crying, "Oh Oh Oh I'm so sorry! Oh I'm so sorry I did that! Oh Please forgive me! Oh Oh Oh I didn't mean to do that!" When nothing happens they notice that the jug is labeled Acetic Acid. Lexi looks it up on her cell phone and discovers that acetic acid is the scientific name for vinegar.
Lexi's phone rings and she screams and says, "Oh my god it's Alexander. He's here. He's gonna think we're a bunch of dildos." They all scramble to hide Sky's body before they let him in. Alexander enters with a dog dressed in a skeleton costume and a drug dealer named Zycho. He's dressed as a vampire and notices that Paul is too, so he makes Paul strip down to his underwear and says, "You're hairy. Hmm. Okay so, who is this dildo?"
It turns out that Alexander is offering a $300,000 grant to the person at the party who can come up with the most creative and artistic way to murder poor Christopher. They all scramble to rattle off their ideas, which range from using his blood to make paper mache to stapling a pancake to his face and shoving him in front of the G train. Alexander is not impressed for some reason and decides instead that they should all order some pizza, shoot some sodium pentathol and play extreme truth or dare. With truth serum coursing their viens they all confess that they're all insecure and fear that their art isn't good enough. Then they say that they're kicking Bill out of the art collective because he's too good and they hate him for it. Macon confesses that he's in love with Lexi and would do anything for her. They inject Christopher too and he confesses that he's a meter maid who makes a living ruining peoples days, that if he died no one would miss him, and that he never told anyone he was coming to the murder party.
This is when things start to get really fun. Macon steps out side to have a cigarette but decides to try to smoke it through his rubber warewolf max. The max catches on fire and Lexi discovers him screaming outside a few minutes later. No one else takes notice though because Paul and Alexander are arguing about the legitimacy of Alexanders claim to have access to grant money. Lexi puts Macon's face out with a fire extinguisher and drags him inside. Paul finds the sodium pentathol and injects Alexander, who hadn't taken any before. Alexander confesses that he's actually a fry cook who lives with his grandmother in New Jersey, he has no grant money, and he came up with the idea for the murder party so he could murder all the artists and sell their artwork because it would be worth more after their deaths. Alexander orders Zycho to shoot everyone, and he kills Paul first and Lexi jumps on his back. They start fighting and Zycho tries to choke her. Alexander's dog eats a bag of drugs, attacks Alexander, and bites his mouth off. Macon comes to and peels the melted max off his face to reveal a horribly burned and disfigured bloody mess. He grabs an electric chainsaw and cuts off Zycho's legs, freeing Lexi. She runs and frees Christopher and grabs her cell phone.
Still bitter about being kicked out of the collective, Bill picks up an axe and bashes Lexi's head in and then finishes off Alexander. Macon's lying on the floor and Bill thinks he's dead so he starts to chase after Christopher. Christopher runs to the roof of the building and starts jumping from rooftop to rooftop. Bill runs after him with the axe and Macon, back up, runs after him with the electric chainsaw and extension cord. Christopher inadvertently stumbles upon Cicero's party that Sky was talking about in the beginning and runs down the stairs to hide inside. He runs into a room where a bunch of naked women in body paint are doing a performance art piece and closes the door behind him. Bill finds him though and kills everyone else in the room before getting to Christopher. Macon finds the party too and starts screaming about avenging Lexi by killing Bill. He plugs the extension cord into an outlet on the roof but loses his footing and falls backwards, flying past an open window in the room where Bill is about to kill Christopher. Christopher reaches out and retrieves the chainsaw by the cord, which is still plugged in above, and saws it right into Bill's face. He leaves the room and grabs someones cell phone, dials 911, and hands it back to them saying, "It's for you." A bunch of art critics walk to the open door of the room where Bill and all the performance artists are lying dead and exclaim, "Still life as performance art."
Christopher walks home from the party because his wallet and metro card were stolen by the Zycho. When he gets home covered in blood he makes his damn fat ugly cat get out of his chair and pops in a scary movie.
The end.
